Bonjour Blog!

It's hard for me to believe this first time I'm actually blogging, so to speak. After all, let's look at the evidence: I'm online nearly 24 hours a day, I like to talk about myself, I cling to the delusion that others find me charming, witty and interesting— clearly I have all the makings of a blog diva. You'd think I'd have compiled a volume of self-centered ramblings so lengthy as to veritably dwarf the OED by now, wouldn't you?

Well, I think for a while there I was waiting until I actually had something really poignant and insightful to say. When that didn't happen I decided, screw it! To heck with grammar and punctuation! Fie on you, sentence structure! The world must hear my ramblings and it must hear them now— unedited, raw and pointless! And so, tired of waiting for inspiration, I've given up and joined the Narcissistic Quasi-Writers Association (interesting fact: NQWA counts the vast majority of bloggers among its members).

Can you blame me? It's pretty hard to resist a forum where every ridiculous thought you type is instantly available to millions of readers across the globe (even if in reality the only person who reads the thing is your mom— and even if she only skims it every now and again, wondering where she went wrong). I find new reasons to love the internet every day.

And so begins my blog.

addendum:

I do intend to perhaps put some actual effort into this thing every now and again. I may even try to spiff its appearance up a bit (supposedly I have some sort of ostensible visual talent or something, but I'm still not entirely convinced of that).

In any case if you've made it this far you're either a very dear friend or on some sort of heavy narcotics. Either way, your attention is much appreciated and I'll keep you informed if I write anything of interest or substance. In other words, you'll never hear from me again.